Forgiving is Fully Loving

Forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you. – Colossians 3:13

Reading this passage in Colossians brought me back to a sermon, years ago, where the pastor pointed out that forgiveness actually frees us, not the one who has wronged us.  I envisioned myself in prison cell, where each bar that held me captive was one person I had not yet forgiven.

One of those prison bars had my dad’s name on it.  Today is his birthday.

Recently I wrote a Bible Study about love.  In it, I challenged everyone to intentionally love someone they found difficult to.  For me, that person is my dad.

Although it’s been many years since we’ve spoken, I carved out a window of time a few weeks ago to give him a call.  As I drove to my “calling place,” I prayed for God to give me the words to connect us over a telephone line.  

Nervously rehearsing the call in my mind, I noticed that the traffic ahead slowed abruptly.  In the blink of an eye I heard the BANG and felt the impact of the car behind thrusting me to the front of a three car pile-up.  I spent the next hour and a half on the side of the road filling out a police report, talking to the other drivers, and arranging for my daughter to be transported to her destination.  Thankfully no one was hurt.

By the time I got to where I’d imagined calling my dad, my phone was exploding with insurance agents and family members calling to see if we were ok.  I was too shook up to call him anyways.

It took me two more days to muster the courage to try another call.  When I finally did, my heart raced through what seemed like a hundred rings before being told that his voicemail had not been set up.  I visualized my dad seeing my name listed six or seven times as missed calls.  I felt the all too familiar emotion of rejection.  

Rejection has the debilitating power to shrink us where we stand.  It makes us feel insignificant and without any sense of belonging.  We feel belittled and helpless, left scared and scarred.

Realizing that I wasn’t going to be able to talk to him, I just bought an old fashioned card.  I’ll mail it to the address I have listed for him.  Hopefully he’s still there.  I’ll wish him a Happy Birthday and let him know that I’m thankful to be back in touch.  I might not flat out tell him I’ve forgiven him but my words and actions will show it.  Then I’ll be free from the prison that has held me for far too long.

  

Who do you need to let off the hook?  Choose to forgive and fully live.  

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