The Pause

Mary, who sat at the Lord’s (Jesus’) feet listening to what He said.   - Luke 10:39

Have you ever opened the menu at a restaurant, caught a glimpse of the entrée prices, then wanted to flee for your financial life?

I was in Denver killing time while my middle school daughter and her friends attended a live show at the Paramount Theatre.  Circling in the car, trying to avoid the area’s $18/hour parking lots, I spied an $8 flat rate parking lot at a restaurant.  I’d scored a bargain:  cheap parking and dinner while I waited for the concert to end.  

My first glimpse of “bargain” flying out the window was when the valet parking attendant took my car keys and ushered me to the “Valet Manager,” who then swept me into the restaurant where I was seated at a table covered with a freshly ironed, white table cloth, sparkling china, too many forks, and a lit candle.  Three handsome black tied waiters eagerly descended on my table with welcoming smiles, a menu, the daily specials, and dinner recommendations.  I had been “trapped” into a delicious steak dinner at Ruth’s Chris Steak House.  

I ordered the least expensive steak on the menu, with no sides, opted for soup instead of salad, and passed on dessert.  The lobster bisque was rich and creamy with big chucks of real lobster.  Yum!  How I wished I was on a date with my husband.  I found it difficult to relax into my seat or truly enjoy the beautiful atmosphere because the guilt of having such a lavish dinner alone kept washing over me.  

Didn’t I just recently write about making wise decisions with our budgets?  What was I doing at a fancy restaurant when Chick-fil-a was more my style and price point?  While I was beating myself up and no longer enjoying my soup, the Valet Manager returned to my table.  He looked directly into my eyes and boldly declared, “Good for you for taking care of yourself.”

Huh, really?  I appeared to him as balanced and taking care of myself?  I’m a frazzled, way-too-busy, always-late mom.  I stay up late nervously cleaning while waiting for teenagers to get home safely.  I jump up early to make breakfast, skip the shower, cut exercise time short, and eat my meals in the car on the way to the next dentist appointment, soccer practice, meeting, grocery store.  Every day I feel like I fall way short of finishing my list of “To Dos”.

The manager’s kind words continued to ring in my ears.  I put my silver spoon down on the white table cloth as guilt collided with appreciation.  I bowed my head, thanked God for the delicious food, took a deep breath, let my shoulders drop, and relaxed.  

I thought of the passages in Luke that describe Jesus’ visit with Mary and Martha.  Martha busily prepared for the feast, ignoring Jesus and the disciples.  Mary, on the other hand, sat at Jesus’ feet, spent time with, and listened to Him.  Realizing that I had too much Martha and not enough Mary in me, I moved the candle from the side of my plate to the center of the table and imagined Jesus sitting across from me, also enjoying a juicy steak dinner.  

God desires for us to pause from our busy lives and just sit with Him.  Creating space in our days to sit and relax opens our hearts and minds to His closeness and His voice.  There we can restore and replenish our bodies and souls.  Close to Jesus there is no guilt, only love. 

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