Mean Girls

The LORD is near to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 

– Psalm 34:18

Last weekend, I saw the meanest, most hurtful thing I’ve ever seen on a soccer field. Between growing up playing soccer and having three kids on travel teams, I’ve seen my fair share of matches and episodes of bad behavior, but Sunday’s game was a new low. 

Both teams were made up of seniors in high school, seventeen and eighteen year old girls still struggling with their identities and fast approaching futures.

My daughter’s team was supposed to be an easy win for the other team, who was in first place. Playing the number one team in the league is always a huge challenge, so they showed up excited to play. For many of these girls, this would be one of the last games they’d ever play on a competitive team. Parents videotaped and snapped pictures trying to capture precious senior moments with teammates who have become dear friends.

After our team unexpectedly scored first, and held the lead, the play started getting rougher. Increasingly desperate to score, the other team ramped up their intensity. Shoulders clashed, cleats collided, and the referee’s whistle blew often, calling fouls and giving free kicks every time someone was pushed, tripped, or slammed to the ground. 

We watched as two girls in particular continued to go head to head. I’ll call them Mean Girl and Allie. Mean Girl fought hard for every ball. Being scrappy and tenacious, Allie refused to give up. When Mean Girl lost the ball again to Allie, she fought back with her mouth, shouting directly at Allie, “You’re SO FAT!”

Allie turned around with a look of disbelief and embarrassment. To drive her point home, Mean Girl then let fly with a second, more R–rated version, of the insult 

Like watching a helium balloon sink, deflate and then finally flatten, I watched Allie suck in her tears until she was breathless. She soon sank to her knees, lifting one arm in the air, as if waving a white flag of surrender, signaling her coach to send in a substitute for her. Without a physical injury the referee let the game continue. How could he not see her heart breaking? 

Finally, Allie walked off the field, past her coach and her teammates sitting on the bench. She continued down the sideline, walked behind the goal, and collapsed in her mother’s loving arms. As the mother embraced her daughter, racked with sobs, I was reminded of how beautiful it is when we’re hurting and fall into our Heavenly Father’s arms for comfort and encouragement. God is our father in Heaven who adores us and is close to us when our hearts are breaking. 

In that moment, I felt a special connection to Allie. I know what it’s like to be called fat. When I was her age, I was constantly battling my weight. I believed my thighs were bigger and my hips wider than the other girls on my team. I constantly compared the size of my uniform with others and fought to lose a few pounds during every soccer season.

For so many of us, the teenage years begin our battle with body image. When we go through puberty and start dating, the number on the scale or the size of our jeans all of a sudden becomes significant, and it can be life changing. 

I saw up close in high school how damaging it can be when we become fixated on our body image. When a close teammate of mine passed out in the locker room before a game, I later learned she was dehydrated from starving herself. When another teammate I admired attempted suicide, I visited her in the hospital. I simply asked her how she was feeling. She blurted out that she wanted to die because she was fat and ugly. The girl I saw sitting in the hospital bed was athletic and beautiful. I told her so, but she didn’t believe me.

The enemy is having a field day with our teenage girls growing up in an Instagram culture. The feedback they receive today about their body image is frequent, and often brutal.

Here’s a 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call Challenge for this week. Let’s fight back with love and encouragement!

• Think of one teenage girl you know in your family, neighborhood, church or friend group.
• Send her an encouraging text message. 
• Remind her of God’s love.
• Let her know how beautiful she is on the inside.
• Invite her to spend some time with you.
• Ask her about her heart, not her plans for the future.
• Listen a lot and love well.

Man looks at the outward appearances but God looks at the heart. – 1Samuel 16:7

Let’s have the eyes of God to encourage those around us with uplifting words.

Comfort is abundant through Christ. – 2Corinthians 1:5

Let’s be Jesus’ comforting arms and loving heart in a world that’s broken and hurting. 

When we do, we’ll be taking back territory the enemy stole from our youth. We’ll be spurring the next generation of young women to have a confidence in Christ that’s contagious.  

The Power of Giving God Thanks Will Ignite Your Faith and Change Your World

Thank You for Being a Part of the 3 O’Clock Wake Up Movement